We all have stories that we tell ourselves about our lives, and the world around us. Sometimes those stories are optimistic and hopeful, and other times a little less so. Lately I have been reflecting on my own story, wondering how accurate it really is.

When people ask who we are, what do we say? My answer used to involve the type of work I did, usually along the lines of "I'm a home automation designer" or "a programmer". However, it's been 10 years since referring my clients to others and retreating to a cabin in the mountains, so that no longer applies. And, in the intervening 10 years my world view has shifted dramatically, to the point that defining oneself by an occupation seems silly.

So, how do I present myself to others? When in Texas and people ask where I am from, I say Houston. When anywhere else, the answer is usually California. Both are true, but the answer is for other people's benefit, so the answer depends more on them and the context of the situation. It's relative.

Turning Point

Around 10 years ago, just after deciding that I was burned out and needed to retreat before imploding, a client's wife invited me to her birthday party, suggesting that they would introduce me to some of their friends. He was a retired tech exec who was also running for political office at the time, and they were on the board of several charitable and arts organizations in Austin. The list of attendees would be a who's who of that segment of the Austin population, and I did ponder the invitation for a while, knowing it could lead to more clients like them, but as graciously as possible I declined the invitation.

After 15 years of spending time in the homes and offices of clients, I heard a lot of stories. We all have stories that we tell ourselves and others about who we are and what we are doing, some more accurate than others, but all just stories nonetheless.

While sitting on my back porch that Sunday afternoon 10 years ago, listening to the sound of the creek in the distance and reflecting on my life, I knew that if I accepted the invitation to the birthday party, I would have to tell stories about myself, the kinds of thing we say at social gatherings and on social media to get attention and impress people. I was at a point in my life where it was clear that my story wasn't who I really was, so I closed up shop and left Austin with my dog Shiva.

Sitting here 10 years later, I still think that was the right choice. We have to be honest with ourselves, and if we aren't happy with the life we are living, make a change. For me, it led to meeting my partner Sara, who knows me better than anyone could, and the freedom to pursue projects that mattered rather than just those that paid well.

So, who am I now? An author? A tech entrepreneur? Just a guy? Yes.

The book project resulted from years of travel and research, which Sara turned into a compelling story from her perspective. The years spent researching human input devices and alternatives to tech monopolies led to practical experience building infrastructure and understanding what it takes to create something lasting. And while I've been many things in the past, what matters is what I'm doing now.